I was asked the same question tonight. I said no. But I would've said yes if i thought a couple of more seconds at the moment cuz i think i was really homesick. Maybe still. There were very few times when i was in that kind of mood. It's not just for the Spring festival. As time goes by, I now have sort of same feeling over thanksgiving and christmas. It's been five five years since i was away from home. I'd never had a feeling as strong as tonight. When the time comes, you can't help it. But a hot bath helps:)

 

Homesickness aside, something else bothers me even more. "we have the experiences but somehow miss the meaning/And approach to the meaning restores the experiences..." from T.S Elliot. I never read Elliot and captured this from the Dilemma book. I might not fully understand the ideas it intends to convey but it makes good sense to me at this stage. I feel terrible about myself sometimes and i think little of meaning. Meaning of experiences, meaning of relationships, meaning of action and non-action, meaning of happiness, meaning of health, meaning of my own words and most of all, meaning of living. My life is filled with too many copy, paste and delete. You mgiht say "isn't it too tired to think this much?" It is indeed. But that reminds me something that Whalen told me: struggle to progress.

 

People either get busy living or get busy dying. Either way, you gonna find the meaning.  

 

RY came back late. I've though he went back to NY. He did. But amazingly, he left Troy 2 pm and got back 12pm on the same day. I told him that he should stay home with his mom at this particular time. I was actually happy he is back. Besides he's not back alone, bringing some of my favorite fruits.

 

Good night, my friends. All happy new year!

 

Cantor's Dilemma - Carl Djerassi

 

This is not at all a new book. Can't remember how i came across it... Checked out weeks ago... More often than not, i started reading a book until it's overdue. Fortunately, it's not a big volume and on a day like this, leisure reading is not a bad choice. Before dusk, i am almost halfway through it.

 

For those who want to know a little academic politics, you would like to read it. Actually, the book is by no means academic;however, it's very entertaining, revealing, fun and such such. It gives an insider's description of the road from a graduate student to a nobel winner and does so in a novel style. It tells you some of the key tricks to be successful besides your research. And dont belittle them otherwise it costs you a damn thing.

 

Somehow, the book's title is translated in Chinese as this entry's title and i like the translation. It attracks you right away, otherwise, who cares who the * Cantor is and what his dilemma is.

 

The snow comes right on time on a valentine's day. The book treat me well on this lovely day. Thinking about skiing soon.

 

Wish all happy those in a valentine's relationship and others in search of love.